4. God cares more about my desires than my behaviors.

(Before looking at the questions below, take a few minutes to think about this statement. Invite Jesus to speak to you about what He would like you to notice.) 

How does this statement seem to you? What thoughts does it stir in you?

Why might God care more about our desires than our behaviors?

When you experience guilt or shame, is it typically over something you have actually done, or is it over something you only wish for?

Do you ever experience guilt about your desires? If so, why?

Are there some behaviors that you would say are not good, but that come from a desire that is good?

Where do you think your desires come from? Where would you like them to come from?

God is always more interested in what we desire than how we behave. This is significant because as humans, we tend to judge ourselves and others by the actions we see. But “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart [our desires]” (1 Samuel 16:7, NIV).

God graciously forgives our errant behaviors and looks instead at our desires. This is an amazing gift. The fact that God does not judge us based on our actions frees us to pursue transformation without guilt or pressure. God’s plan is that our transformation should always be guided by our desires and, when we invite God into our lives, Jesus, though His Spirit will guide us into good desires.

Often, we are inclined or even instructed to focus on our behaviors and to discipline ourselves to act better. We may even believe that God is behavior-focused, and we may experience guilt and shame when we fail to do what we wish we could.

But God does not use guilt or shame to motivate us. In the life of Jesus, we see how He never seemed to be that concerned about peoples’ behaviors, even those that were clearly forbidden in Scripture. Scripture often shows Jesus forgiving people’s sins, refusing to judge them, and inviting people to improve their desires. This is the grace-filled environment that God designed for our healing and transformation.