19. As I grow in my relationship with Jesus, I am finding that many of my spiritual activities are private.

 
 
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(Before looking at the questions below, take a few minutes to think about this statement. Invite Jesus to speak to you about what He would like you to notice.) 

If, for some reason, you could not attend church, how would your relationship with Jesus be affected?

What spiritual activities do you currently have, that you do alone, that help you connect with Jesus?

What might be the benefits of having spiritual activities that you do alone with Jesus?

Do you find it difficult to be alone with Jesus? If so, why do you think that is?

An abundance of evidence supports the importance of participating in the spiritual communities of local churches. Corporate worship, fellowship, observing sacraments, teaching, and service are just a few of the many spiritual activities that only happen in community. 

But for our relationship with Jesus to grow, mature, become our own relationship and for it to gain intimacy, we must learn to engage in private spiritual activities that we do alone. In any close relationship, such as marriage, the relationship only becomes intimate when the two are alone. We can never really get to know another person and develop a one-to-one relationship with that person if we only meet each other in a group. 

Healthy relationships require privacy. It is typical for us, at the beginning of our spiritual journey, to prioritize gathering in communities for our spiritual activities. It is the normal way that we learn about God, observe others’ relationship with God, and learn how to connect with God. Unfortunately, for many people, church attendance is the only place where spiritual activities are experienced. 

There are many reasons why people might choose to only engage in group spiritual activities. In some cases, it might be because the person is not willing to make the effort and might not have a strong desire for a personal, intimate relationship with Jesus. Others may attempt to connect with Jesus in private but fail to experience Him and give up trying. Churches can unintentionally create a type of co-dependent relationship with attenders, where the attender needs the church to help them connect to God and the Church needs attenders to help them support staff and ministries. 

Developing our private or individual spirituality is not always easy and we may need help. Churches can help by providing instruction and guidance for a person’s personal connection to Jesus. Spiritual guides, mentors, and directors can be especially helpful for those who desire to develop their individual relationship with Jesus. 

Ultimately, we must learn to connect with God and discover our unique spirituality on our own. Developing personal spiritual activities is a process of trying different things and noticing what works. This discovery process will take time, effort, intention, intensity and patience. 

As we begin to find our “way” with God, we will notice that our relationship is growing, and we are experiencing more and more joy in our relationship with Him.