5. The most important thing to knowing my real self is my desire.

(Before looking at the questions below, take a few minutes to think about this statement. Invite Jesus to speak to you about what He would like you to notice.)

WHAT REASONS WOULD YOU HAVE FOR WANTING TO GROW IN SELF-AWARENESS?

WHAT KEEPS YOU FROM DESIRING A GREATER AWARENESS OF YOURSELF?

WHAT MIGHT HELP INCREASE YOUR DESIRE FOR SELF-AWARENESS?

Self-awareness is a critical piece in helping us experience the abundant life that Jesus invites us to. In the same way that self-awareness is the starting point for change, desire is the starting point for self-awareness; we won’t grow in self-awareness if we don’t desire to. Believing that self-awareness is essential is the first step. Sincerely desiring to grow in self-awareness is the second.

The presence of desire is important, but the nature of that desire is also critical. Not every desire comes from a healthy place so it will be important to ask ourselves why we want to grow in self-awareness. There are many questionable motives that we can have for this desire. We might want self-awareness because we think we ought to. It might come from someone telling us we need it and consequently be motivated by guilt, shame, or obligation. None of these are healthy motives for pursuing self-awareness. We might desire self-awareness to impress God, to gain His approval, or to get something from Him. These, too, are defective motives.

Self-awareness, as psychologists tell us, is essential for our emotional health and so we may desire this for our own good. Though this is not a bad reason, it presents the opportunity for our quest for self-awareness to be driven by selfishness. There may be other unhealthy reasons, but let’s consider what a good, perhaps the best, motive for self-awareness. If we describe an abundant life, it likely will include the presence of harmonious and meaningful relationships with people, with God, and within ourselves.

This is the deep peace, shalom, that God desires for us. It is a state in which we experience rest, peace, and contentment in all our relationships. A lack of self-awareness will always negatively impact our relationships and as a result will impede our experience of shalom. Self-awareness is critical to finding that place of shalom, and our desire for self-awareness is best when motivated by a vision of this relational shalom.