12. For me to have a meaningful relationship with Jesus, I must bring my real self.
(Before looking at the questions below, take a few minutes to think about this statement. Invite Jesus to speak to you about what He would like you to notice.)
DO THEY KEEP GOD FROM CONNECTING WITH YOU?
DO THEY KEEP YOU FROM CONNECTING WITH GOD?
DO THEY MAKE THE CONNECTION MORE DIFFICULT?
In the story of creation in Genesis 2, God says that it is not good for man to be alone (verse 18, NIV). The truth is that humans were created with relational ability and relational need. Although we see many ways that mankind fails to live in healthy relationship with others, we also see how harmonious relationships bring out the best in us and provide the greatest joy and meaning in life.
Our sin and brokenness manifest themselves in our pursuit of non-relational ways of finding joy: material possessions, accomplishments, physical pleasure, experiences, and entertainment. We also show our brokenness in the unhealthy ways we attempt relationships: asserting control over others, holding value judgments and prejudices about others, using others for selfish purposes, and pretending to be someone we really are not. Genesis 2: 25 says, Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
We see here that there was no need for Adam and Eve to pretend because they were each content with who they were. Neither needed to control or use the other because they were harmonious in their relationship. The story seems also to imply that there was harmony in their relationship with God. This relational paradise soon broke down, however, as they pursued a substitute for their relationship with each other and with God. Shame, blame, and pain followed.
As Adam and Eve hid from God, reflecting the fracture of their relationship, God pursued them and sought to heal the relationship that had been wounded. God called to them, invited them back into the relationship, naked and ashamed, and redeemed them and the relationship. Adam and Eve had lost their “true self,” the abundant self that they were created to be. It is instructive that God insists that they confront and admit their “real self,” their “exposed self.” There would be no relationship with God if Adam and Eve continued to hide, pretend, and avoid.
Only when they admitted the truth about themselves was the relationship restored. As broken humans living in a broken world, we instinctively hide from God and others, pretending that we are something we really are not; we are reluctant to profess that we have behaved in ways that are not true. Essentially, we are creating a lie about ourselves. The powerful truth is that our relationships with God and others will never be healthy if we are not honest and real with ourselves and others.
Healthy relationships begin by embracing what is real about ourselves, admitting and bringing our real self, our broken-but-redeemed self. When we bring our pretend self, we create a “pretend” relationship. But when we bring our real self, defective as it might be, we participate in an authentic relationship, with Jesus and with others, and only from this authentic starting point can the journey that leads to abundance, our true self, begin.