3. My spiritual community is essential for me to develop my relational capacity—my ability to hold healthy and intimate relationships with others and with Jesus.

(Before looking at the questions below, take a few minutes to think about this statement. Invite Jesus to speak to you about what He would like you to notice.) 

What are characteristics of someone who has healthy and deep relationships?

What are some illustrations of relationships that are unhealthy, immature, or shallow?

Think about how God might use others to help us grow in our ability to enjoy deeper, more loving, mature and healthy relationships. Write a few of your thoughts.

Are there relational qualities that you would like to see developed in your own life?

Humanity struggles to practice healthy and mature relationships with each other. The daily news testifies to our relational brokenness at individual and corporate levels. For various reasons it is difficult to develop and maintain mature and healthy relationships. Culture influences us to value things ahead of relationships. We tend to place possessions, achievements, independence, power, control, and pleasure over people. 

Our physical bodies naturally grow and mature if they are adequately nourished. But our relational “body” does not develop without intention, guidance, and practice. Intention, or desire, means that we must want to grow our relational capacity. We must desire to hold healthy and mature relationships. Along with intention we need to be open to admitting that we need guidance. 

We need to learn to recognize our weaknesses, blind spots, handicaps, and our need for help. We grow best when we have someone to help and guide us and show us what we could be. Finally, we need practice. Developing relational capacity is not like learning about something intellectually; it cannot be acquired like knowledge. 

Developing relational capacity is more like exercising a muscle—the more we use it, the stronger it will get.  Spiritual communities can be a place for people to develop relational capacity by practicing relational dynamics with each other, assisted by someone who facilitates the community, and under the presence and instruction of the Spirit.