16. I’m getting to a place where I can love others when they are in a different stage than I am.

Have you sometimes experienced pain as you have moved into new stages? Do you still have pain? If so, how have you navigated the pain?

Have you experienced pain or loss when others you love moved into new phases on their journey? If so, how have you processed this pain?

What do you think God thinks about the pain you experience as you transition through the stages of your journey?

How would you evaluate the pain you sometimes experience as you transition in your journey? Does it seem normal, wrong, good, helpful, etc.?

What do you need in order to be able to accept and love others who are in a different stage than you are?

As we transition to new stages in our spiritual journey, we may find that it creates tension in our relationships with others who are not in the same place that we are. This is especially true when we enter a new phase that is quite different than the one we have left. Some examples of this might include when we move from an outward phase to an inward phase, or from working for God to simply being with God, or from a spirituality that values material things to one that is spiritual in nature, or when we change our beliefs.

Our tension might come because we are unsure of this new stage with its new experiences and beliefs. We may be uncomfortable answering others’ questions. We may feel uneasy around those who haven’t moved into the next phase as fast as we have, like we are being drawn backwards. As a result, we may feel tempted to avoid these relationships. A second source of tension can happen if the phase we are leaving has pain attached to it. In this case, relationships with people still in that phase can draw us back into that pain; naturally, we resist this.

New phases on our journey will always bring new freedom and we will be reluctant to give up this freedom. The more we associate our earlier phases with individuals that we are in relationship with, the more likely we are to resist not only earlier stages, but also the people we know who are still in those stages. It is not uncommon for us to make our earlier stages and the people we know in those stages to be an “enemy.” This tension can also be experienced by people who are still in the stage we are leaving; to them, we may be the enemy.

The tension and pain associated with the changes in our spiritual journey are normal, and we should never feel guilty about it. However, we should desire to reach a place on our journey where we can be at peace with others, no matter where they are on theirs. When we can embrace and love others without conditions, we know that we are growing into a good place, becoming spiritually mature and healthy.