12. My spiritual disciplines do not make God like me.
(Before looking at the questions below, take a few minutes to think about this statement. Invite Jesus to speak to you about what He would like you to notice.)
IF YOU ASK YOURSELF, “DOES GOD LIKE ME?” WHAT DO YOU SENSE?
IF YOU ASK JESUS, “DO YOU LIKE ME?” WHAT DO YOU HEAR FROM HIM?
IF YOU ASK YOURSELF, “DO I LIKE ME?” WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
WHAT IS THE REASON, IN ALL THREE OF THESE QUESTIONS, FOR WHETHER YOU ARE LIKED OR NOT?
We live in a world in which our posture toward others is in many ways determined by their reactions to us. If you are nice to me, I will be inclined to be nice to you. If you are hurtful to me, I will likely respond similarly. Our jobs are arranged in a way that our performance affects those who employ or direct us.
We often use our behavior to manipulate other people’s opinion of us. Behavior is rewarded in our vocations, athletic pursuits, music and arts, and even in our churches. With all this pressure to behave in certain ways to achieve approval, success, and safety, it is not surprising that we would imagine that God would treat us the same way. Even if we do not believe that God judges us by our actions, we may instinctively default to our culture’s way, living and acting as though our behaviors in some way cause God to look favorably on us.
Often when we take on spiritual disciplines, we do so either intentionally or unintentionally to gain God’s approval. It is natural, it is our default mindset, and it takes work to break the narrative that our culture has given us. There is one exception familiar to most of us that may help us understand the difference between earning approval in our culture and enjoying the unmerited approval of God. An infant or small child is loved and accepted, even celebrated, with little regard for their behaviors. We do not expect them to behave in certain ways and we don’t withhold our love for them based on performance.
Perhaps it is not surprising, then, that Jesus uses children to teach us about God’s love for us. The rules of God’s Kingdom demonstrate that our efforts have no ability to increase or diminish His love for us. God’s love for us is based on His relationship with us, just like a parent who unconditionally loves a young child. Our behaviors, good or bad, cannot change how God feels about us.
Spiritual disciplines are important, they serve a strategic role in our relationship with God, but our doing them has no impact on earning God’s approval.