10. My spiritual disciplines help shape my character so that healthy actions occur naturally.
(Before looking at the questions below, take a few minutes to think about this statement. Invite Jesus to speak to you about what He would like you to notice.)
IMAGINE A COMPLIMENT SOMEONE MIGHT GIVE YOU THAT REFLECTS YOUR CHARACTER: E.G. YOU ARE A KIND PERSON, YOU SEEM TO BE VERY CARING, OR YOU ARE VERY RESPONSIBLE. WHAT WOULD THOSE WHO KNOW YOU SAY ONE OF YOUR CHARACTER QUALITIES IS?
WHAT IS THE FEELING YOU EXPERIENCE WHEN YOU ACT ACCORDING TO THIS QUALITY?
IS THERE ANOTHER CHARACTER QUALITY THAT YOU DESIRE TO BECOME TRUE ABOUT YOU?
It is a natural tendency to judge people based on their behaviors. We can’t see another’s mind or heart so our only way to evaluate a person is to notice their behaviors. As we receive feedback from others about our own behaviors, we can experience pressure to conform our behaviors to an expected norm. In our spiritual life, this pressure can be even greater as we add what we think God expects from us. This situation creates a tendency for us to use spiritual disciplines to help us behave in ways that meet others’, or God’s expectations.
The danger is that, with such a focus on behavior, we might use disciplines to help us behave in ways that do not truly reflect who we are. When this happens, we experience a tension between who we really are, our character, and how we are behaving. We might even feel like we are in bondage to the need to behave in certain ways.
Spiritual disciplines are best used to help shape our character, our person, so that our behaviors flow naturally out of what is true about us. It is the difference between behavior management and character formation. This does not mean that we can’t use spiritual disciplines to help us behave as we wish.
What is important is our desire. Think of it in this example. Say we recognize that we tend to get angry with another person, a family member, co-worker, etc. We might desire to learn how to “hold our tongue” with this person, to not lose our temper, or we might rather desire to become a person who, in any situation, is not controlled by anger. In both cases, the discipline might be the same, (for example, using fasting to grow impulse control), but the goal is different.
When we desire to use spiritual disciplines to shape our character, we allow Spirit to work inside of us, to reshape our character, so that good behaviors will automatically flow from this transformed character. This is what Jesus teaches us when He said that “a good tree cannot produce bad fruit.” (Matthew 7:18) Spiritual disciplines are best used to help us become a good tree that organically produces good fruit.