11. CORRECTING MY IMAGE OF MYSELF REQUIRES INTENTIONALITY, DISCIPLINE, AND HELP FROM SPIRIT.
(Before looking at the questions below, take a few minutes to think about this statement. Invite Jesus to speak to you about what He would like you to notice.)
DO YOU ENGAGE IN PRACTICES, SPACES, OR RITUALS THAT HELP YOU FEEL VALUED BY GOD?
AFTER READING THROUGH THE ACTIVITIES BELOW, IS THERE ONE OR TWO YOU SENSE AN INVITATION TO ENGAGE IN?
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS IDEA: TO SHAPE OUR BELIEFS WE MUST ENGAGE OUR BODIES IN ACTIVITIES THAT SUPPORT THOSE BELIEFS?
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR IMAGE OF YOURSELF, HOW MUCH OF THAT INCLUDES YOUR BODY?
Spiritual writer Richard Rohr says, "We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking." I cannot simply think my way into a better image of myself; I must act in ways that shape how I think about myself. Dallas Willard uses a triangle to represent how transformation happens.
The three points of the triangle are: The Work of the Holy Spirit, Planned Disciplines to Put on a New Heart, and Ordinary Events of Daily Life. In the middle of the triangle, Willard puts Centered in the Mind of Christ. This is how the model works: First, we name our desire to have our image of ourselves reflect more closely to the value and worth God sees in us. This is the center of the triangle—our desire for the mind of Christ.
Once we have named our desire, we yield ourselves to the work of the Holy Spirit. We engage in activities that place us where the Spirit can transform us. And we invite God to use ordinary life events to transform our behavior and change our thoughts and ideas. So, what are the activities that we engage in to invite the Spirit's transformation? They fall into three categories.
Practices that help shape my image of myself.
Gratitude. When we stop to be grateful, we often find that it draws our attention to the value that we have and have been given. Focusing our thoughts on what we are grateful for is a good place to start. It's even more helpful to write out what we are grateful for. And the ultimate space for transformation is when we express our gratitude God and others.
Graciousness. We may find it difficult to receive gratitude from others. We are happy to give, but reluctant to receive. Receiving from others can make us uncomfortable and vulnerable. But this is an opportunity for growth.
Reflection. Our lives are busy. Our attention is usually focused on externals: jobs, possessions, people, and so on. But our image of ourselves resides deep inside of us, often beyond our awareness. Taking time to reflect on our fears, feelings, longings, and regrets helps shape our image of ourselves.
Sharing. Sharing our thoughts, feelings, fears, and joys with another person can help us discover our true worth as a human. This person could be a trusted friend, spiritual director, or anyone spiritually mature and good at listening.
Generosity. Giving something away can bring a sense of goodness, gratefulness, and self-worth to us.
Remembering. Recalling good things from the past can create a spiritual space for the Spirit to affirm us. Looking at photo albums of past events and experiences and reliving the highlights of a previous season can help remind us of our value.
Confession. Guilt is one of the ways that our self-image is demoted, diminished, and decreased. Confession takes the power out of guilt and leads to a restoration of our sense of worth.
Serving. Like generosity, serving others helps us see our value. We can experience the truth that we have gifts and talents and that we have something to share.
Practices That Lift Up Others (Knowing that lifting others up also lifts up ourselves)
Blessing. The practice of blessing has much goodness and power. Unfortunately, our religious systems often underutilize this gift. Jesus tells us to "bless those who curse you" (Luke 6:28, NIV). Blessing others reminds them of their value while at the same time calling out our own value. It changes the nature of our relationship with others by removing critical or judgmental attitudes. It restores shalom, peace. It also engages our bodies with our minds and hearts. Few disciplines engage the parts of our soul like speaking a blessing to another.
Listening. As simple as it sounds, to be fully present and listen to another person is a powerful value-giving practice. When we listen without interrupting or amending the other person’s story, we give space for that person to be known. It has been said that the greatest need of every person is the need to be known. Listening to another gives them the gift of being known. And to be known is to experience one's worth.
Practicing Forgiveness. The discipline of forgiveness is another practice that affirms the value of both giver and receiver. Both the one being forgiven and the one forgiving experience an increase in value. Again, Jesus understands this in his call for us to forgive our enemies. By doing this, I restore my image of my enemy as having value and I behave in a manner that displays my own worth.
Prayer for Others. Like forgiving and blessing others, Jesus invites us to pray for those who persecute us. To pray goodness over another reshapes my image of the other and at the same time reminds me of my value.
Hospitality. Hospitality requires all our soul’s components: body, mind, and heart. As a result, this practice serves effectively to help us lift up another's worth and at the same time lift up our own.
Encouragement. The command to "encourage one another" appears numerous times in the New Testament. Encouragement also brings goodness to both giver and receiver. The one encouraged and the one doing the encouraging will both be blessed. Like other disciplines, encouragement engages our bodies and minds, and hopefully our hearts as well. Anytime we can include these three, the benefits of the practice increase greatly.
Practices That Invite God to Lift Me Up
Sabbath. Taking time to rest puts us in a place where God can speak to us, affirm us, connect with us, and love us. Sabbath means letting go of our need to be productive and clearing the distractions of our minds. This discipline works indirectly to reshape our image of ourselves. It is clearly for our benefit that God gives us this command.
Spending Time in Nature. Enjoying time outside in undisturbed places of God's creation connects us to God. It reminds us of our unique place in creation and affirms our value.
Spirit-Guided Examen. Examen is the practice of inner reflection guided by the Spirit. In it, we ask questions about ourselves and invite the Spirit to speak to us. Through this practice we learn what God thinks about us and what we both desire for us. In this way we come to know and experience how favored we really are.
Sacred Spaces. For some people, spending time in sacred spaces, such as cathedrals, retreat facilities, and prayer rooms, evokes a sense of awe of God. Time in such places can lead to a feeling of value and connection.
Engaging in disciplines like these can lead to experiential knowledge of how precious and valued we are. Through this, we can come to understand the way God sees us, recognizing our worthiness in His sight. Additionally, it allows us to transform the underlying narratives that shape our actions. We will be able to reclaim our joy and confidence and be set free from bondage to the voice of the Deceiver.